rhodrymavelyne

At last, I saw the second seasons for Interview with the Vampire and The Mayfair Witches, after a very long hesitation.

Why the hesistation? Interview with the Vampire remains one of my favorite books ever. The entire Vampire Chronicles is one of my favorite series. I wasn’t sure how I’d feel as a fan about the changes the television series was making as they advanced.

Parts of Chronicles of the Mayfair Witches I loved. Other parts were traumatically nightmarish. I wasn’t sure which parts would become part of the TV series and which would be dropped.

Daring to see both TV series, I found I enjoyed them a lot.

Armand felt far more toxic than he did in the books. All right, he was pretty bad, yet seductively, deliciously bad, until he reached Queen of the Damned, where he became hilariously adorable as Daniel’s sugar daddy. I recall Anne Rice saying in an interview that she intended for Armand to have a larger part in her third book, but he wasn’t evil enough.

I wonder if the makers of Interview with the Vampire didn’t decide to go for that evil. At the same time, Armand of the TV series was charming, cultured, seductive, and ruthless; qualities he possessed in the books.

I wonder if Armand didn’t love both Louis and Daniel deeply, even if he was also capable of sacrificing both of them?

Rowan and Lasher were far less toxic in the TV series than they were in the books. Letting the nonconsensual aspects of their relationship go made for a more complex and loving bond, which still managed to be disturbing. The Taltos remained innocent and destructive, yet less willfully so.

The Mayfairs were the truly wicked ones. The most wicked of them all was Julien Mayfair.

Gone was Lasher’s lover, the moments of romance between Julien and his familiar. All that was left was the pretense; the ruthless protégé of Marguerite Mayfair, a role Julien didn’t care to dwell upon when telling his story to Michael Curry in the books.

Julien became far more of a villain than Lasher. This startled me, yet why wasn’t he capable of such a role? The books indicated he was, for all his charm.
Julien boasted in the book Lasher of his immunity to Lasher’s charm, due to his masculinity. The softness of femininity conveyed a vulnerability to the Mayfair familar, one which could be used to overpower and kill the women.

This bothered me when I read the book, even though I enjoyed the parts with Julien and Lasher.

There is a certain logic in taking this assertion of male immunity to Lasher, showing how cold and ruthless it could be. It lead a man to be capable of brutal murder of his own flesh and blood, of innocents in order to achieve his goal.

This happened in the book. It also happened in the series.

Both Lestat and Julien became quite brutal in the TV series, yet I feel that both were capable of such brutality in the books, even if they may not have expressed them in the same ways. They could be both cruel and tender to their loved ones.

I wonder if Julien and Lestat will end up warring over Rowan as they did in the book? It would be interesting, if they also fought over Louis.

I could imagine Julien Mayfair as being a patron of a mortal Louis de Pointe du Lac’s establishment in the red light district. There may always have been an attraction between them, even though Louis didn’t acknowledge it, let alone act upon it.

Lestat and Julien was far too alike in the many ways. They loved the same women. Perhaps they’d love the same men as well? (They did both love Quinn Blackwood in the books, although I have no idea if that character will make an appearance in any of the TV series.)

One of the things I missed in The Mayfair Witches was the male intimacy from the books. I loved how the bond developed between Michael Curry and Aaron Lightner, Michael Curry and Julien Mayfair, and even between Julien Mayfair and Lasher.

Every character who overshadowed Rowan Mayfair was removed from the narrative; Michael Curry, Aaron Lightner, and even Mona Mayfair. She was able to take center stage in a way she didn’t in the books, for all she was a very strong character.

There’s an opportunity for feminine intimacy in the TV series; an intimacy I enjoyed when it flourished in the books between Rowan and Mona, Mona and Mary Jane, Rowan and Dolly Jean. I see some of that same intimacy between Rowan and Dolly Jean in the TV series, along with potential for it to blossom between Rowan and Jojo, Rowan and Moira.

I loved the character of Jojo, a trans woman as one of the Mayfair witches, Cortland’s favorite, and Rowan’s confidante.

I enjoyed how Moira did the opposite of Mona, starting out as a jealous rival, only to become more of an ally, as opposed to the intimacy which blossomed magically between Rowan and Mona in the book Taltos, only to turn into jealous adversity in The Blood Canticle. I’m hoping Rowan and Moira’s relationship becomes a more intimate one.

I wish both TV series could have done more pick-ups of exquisite detail, like the ones both Hannibal and American Gods displayed. Such moments are a chance to capture with the camera a sense of Anne Rice’s flowery prose. There was one scene with a statue in Paris with that lingering detail. I wish there had been more.

Overall, I really enjoyed both of the second seasons, the television drama made of the books. I enjoyed how the intimacy rekindled between Louis and Daniel at the end of the interview, after realizing how Armand played with both of their lives. I enjoyed the linking of the two worlds, noting how much more sinister the Talamasca is in both.

I wonder how those worlds will collide. I wonder if the Talamasca makes both collide.

I hope The Mayfair Witches contines. I hope The Vampire Lestat will have it debut on television.

At a time when I seek to get away from my own despair, I latched onto this show.

Complex characters developed over the course of four seasons. These teenagers grew up in a time more technologically and socially advanced than mine, yet they showcased an all-too familiar pecking order. Many of the insecurities they suffered from, I remember only too well.

Hannah was such a strong voice, speaking for attractive, smart women who don’t fit smoothly in the category of either social elites or outcasts. I felt she was falling into a crack, which I often felt yawning under me, when I dared to show how much I didn’t fit it.

Clay and his family did something my parents and I did; allowing friends of mine whom were having a hard time to stay with us. Only Clay took it a step further; Justin became part of his family. He became his brother.

I marvel at seeing how they were romantic rivals and enemies in the beginning over Hannah, yet her memory brought them together, forming a bond which was among the strongest they had. It was beautiful and bittersweet, seeing how this evolved and changed.

One thing I envied was being able to go to formal dances without a date of the opposite gender, a change I’ve found wondrous. Having two prom kings was a dream come true, something I’m delighted to see future generations celebrate.

I do remember at regular dances forming a circle, those of us without a date. We’d sway together during the slow numbers; feeling the power of honoring a more communal and less intimate love than that of a twosome.

I recalled this when Clay’s friends surrounded him during a song which reminded him of Hannah. Seeing them all link arms and slow dance together echoed that power, yet it had a unique sweetness all its own.

The court trial brought back a recent memory of anxiously awaiting results of how fate and the law would effect the future. The result was like an echo in fiction of what happened in reality.

When all of the survivors of abuse showed the courage to stand up and declare it, I cried. I remembered all the people I’ve know who survived sexual abuse. I found myself crying and crying, yet I felt my spirits lifting, as if I was relieved of a weight I hadn’t realized I’d been carrying.

There was so much pain in high school, yet there were moments I wouldn’t have taken back for anything. I could see one of those moments in the prom. Seeing the two kings, seeing the various kids dancing reminded me of times when I danced, gathered with a club for a picture, or shared a moment with my friends.

High school is a difficult rite of passage, but what would we have without it? What would we lose, if we didn’t have it? If kids didn’t go through it?

No one should terrorized or bullied, but everyone should have a chance to learn, grow, and develop their thoughts; discovering themselves as they do.

May future generations never lose the power to flourish as individuals. May you find wonder and encouragement as you learn, regardless of what obstacles stand in your way.

I’m so glad the Doctor is now asking the question as well.

I have my own theories about the Doctor’s past, the past that the Doctor remembers.
Many believed Claire Bloom was the Doctor’s mother, but I wonder if she wasn’t the Doctor’s father. Perhaps I should say the Time Lord the Doctor believed to be his father. In that incarnation, she was referred to as an angel covering her face in shame. Her posture was similiar to that of a Weeping Angel.

Is that what happens to certain Time Lords; shamed, disgraced, and cut off from the Time Vortex? Do they become Weeping Angels?

As for the Doctor’s mother, the Doctor has said he’s vague on the concept of motherhood. (The Doctor was David Tennant as the time.) He’s also said he was half-human. (The Doctor was Paul McGann at the time.)

The Doctor has also said she has seven grans, the fifth was her favorite, even if the fifth thought the second was a Zygon. (The Doctor was Jodie Whittaker at the time.) I would love to see more of that, even if it’s in a flashback, what with the ruined Gallifrey, but to return to the Doctor’s mother (who might have no relation to the seven grans).

What if the Doctor believed their mother was from Earth? What if the Doctor’s reasons for first coming to Earth (that they can remember) was to find their mother, a human woman they never knew? What if the Doctor was still looking for her, even as they find and connect with many other humans? (This may be why Adelaide Brook, her daughter, and granddaughter touched him in a very personal way in The Waters of Mars.)

The Doctor’s past was revealed to be a lie, but the Doctor’s memories may still feel real to the Doctor. Where did the lies come from? How much truth is symbolically hidden within them? How will the truth continue to bleed through the lies the Doctor thought were the truth?

I hope future episodes of Doctor Who will explore further the Doctor’s memories; the one he has and the ones which were lost. I’m looking forward to what the upcoming episodes will explore.

I have very mixed feeling about the movie with Ben Bass.

Loving the book as much as I do, I was excited to see this adapted into a movie. There’s a great deal of material which can be expanded upon, fleshed out.

I loved the version with Peter Firth, Jeremy Brett, and Sir John Gielgud. First of all, what a remarkable cast. Judi Bowker as Sybil Vane threatened to eclipse Dorian with her fairytale princess beauty (I remember being quite smitten with her in Clash of the Titans as a little girl, thinking here’s someone as beautiful as Princess Ozma or Polychrome in John R. Neill’s drawings for the Oz books.) The story was very faithful to Wilde’s literature with fine actors playing with his fine prose, a great combination.

Sensuality and modern edginess gave the latter movie a vibrance lacking in the earlier version. Some of the subtlety was lost in an attempt to push the thriller element, giving it the feeling of a Hammer horror movie rather than a complex classic.

Note to self, pushing anything in a story cheapens a work of art. Never force the plot or the characters. Just smooth the road so they can flow.

The cast of the movie elevated the film, in spite of the push. Having performers as fine as Colin Firth, Fiona Shaw, and Emilia Fox gave it a touch more polish. Ben Bass did a magnificent job, bringing depth and levels to what could be canonically considered a shallow icon of beauty, a fallen idol.

Both in the book and the Peter Firth version, I often wondered if the portrait hadn’t sucked Dorian Gray’s soul out, leaving him incapable of truly responding to Sybil Vane’s feelings. In this version, Dorian Gray keeps his soul, but it is puppeteered by Harry Wottan’s destructive passion. He acts out the dreams Harry can only speak of and watch while Dorian writhes, acts, and feels, drowning in sensuality, in corruption, but reaching for love. Reaching for Harry as well, but Harry, like Dorian’s own grandfather, keeps turning away.

Enter Emily Wottan, the part of the movie I absolutely hated the first time I saw it. A part I now consider carefully upon seeing it again.

First off Rebecca Hall did an excellent job of playing her. She is fleshing out an element Dorian only referenced in the story. I understand why she was included, but I fear she ended up becoming a bit shallow for all her beginning potential with Dorian, a damsel in distress for the males to fight over, dampening the homoeroticsm between them.

The Picture of Dorian Gray has been a classic many of us have clung to, latching onto its homoerotic potential in a world which offered us crumbs. It was the closest Oscar Wilde came to expressing his own homoerotic passion in a long piece of prose. Considering his trial, considering how martyred he was for that passion, dampening the homoeroticism stings.

A solution came to me, a solution which breaks canon as much as Emily did, yet the canon is already being altered in this form.

Why not make Emily Wottan Emmett Wottan?

This changes the dynamic a bit since Dorian was Harry’s protègè as well as the sacrifice he offered to the devil to act out his desires. Emmett would become Harry’s second chance, his immortality, but so would Dorian. The two would be rivals for Harry’s affection as much as Harry might worry about Dorian corrupting his son.

Emmett could be the voice of modern LGBTQIA+ rights, struggling to be heard in a world which doesn’t acknowledge them. He’s the one who sees what Dorian meant to his father, yet he’s attracted to Dorian himself. He doesn’t want Dorian to be ashamed of being attracted to him or what’s in his heart. Dorian, however, knows only to well the corruption Harry nurtured in him. Harry knows only too well his creation may return to destroy his offspring, take advantage of Emmett’s innocence with the lessons Dorian has learned, the lessons Harry himself taught Dorian. His legacy may well destroy his legacy.

It’s an interesting idea, taking me on an interesting flight of fanciful fandom. Why, it may even become a fanfic. :)

It’s curious, yet gratifying, seeing Vampire: The Masquerade being renewed as a streamed game in modern times. It brings back a lot of memories. Not only of the Vampire games I played in or ran, but of past flights of fanciful fandom, all the story ideas I once had.

I remember the noble Ventrue knight I conceived for Vampire: The Dark Ages along with the scheming Lasombra abbess. How they encountered and survived a Baali who caused much trouble and grief for both of them. Only to encounter her again when they were older, Elders, with a lot more power and less humanity. I recalled the dear friend the knight had who disappeared, only to appear centuries later amongst the Tremere with a host of dopplegangers appearing along mages.

Some of these flights altered their trajectory. They flew out of the World of Darkness and all its copyrighted associations to transform into something original, several somethings original. For I spent a lot time daydreaming in the World of Darkness. It’s always held a soft spot in my heart. I joke about being a Toreader; falling in love with art and beauty, being ready to frenzy when those things are threatened. Plus I wince at the loudness of cell phones, televisions, and background noise while I writhe in utter delight at the music of Amethystium, Delirium, or Christopher Franke. Sometimes I’m mesmerized by certain movies, TV shows, or performances. Ahem.

It’s a gaming world which had a profound influence on me. I fell in love with the cover of the very first core book I saw of Vampire: The Masquerade with its green cover and the single rose upon it. I fell in love with the way it acknowledged women and characters with different sexualities. I fell in love with the way it quotes everything from pop songs to Shakespeare to Nick Knight.

I’m delighted other people, other players are falling in love with it, too. I’m delighted that people have the option of watching a live stream of this particular game. It’s invigorating to see Vampire: The Masquerade re-invigorate itself with fresh blood.

Long may it stalk the night.

Every time I watch the anime Shiki, I discover something new. Questions and ideas pop up in my mind in response.

Why was the western-style house built on Kanemasa property? Was there a link between that house at the church?

What went on between Ozaki Toshio and Yuuki Natsuno that we didn’t see?

What would happen if Ozaki Toshio and Muroi Seishin met again after the series?

What if Tatsumi and Yuuki Natsuno survived the explosion?

Why does Natsuno look so much like older brother in Seishin’s story? What if there was something special about Natsuno? Something triggered by touch which affected not only Megumi and Tohru, but Tatsumi, Akira, and Ozaki Toshio as well?

What if there was more to Natsuno’s father moving out to the country than he revealed to his family?

Why do shiki return to the same victims again and again? Why do they have to kill their victim instead of taking a little drink and moving on to another?

Who was the vampire who showed up at Sunako’s house and killed her?

What happened to Aoi, Tamotsu, and their parents?

What if there was more to Muroi Seishin’s story than even he realized?

Some of these questions I’m exploring in my fanfic. They play into my ongoing story More Than a Jinrou.

Some of them are occuring to me as I write the next chapters. I’ve starting watching Shiki again, to check the details, figure out when and where the characters were at a particular time for a major flashback.

Mutou Takeshi, his wife, and surviving children seem to disappear after the showdown at the shrine. I need to double-check, make certain they’re not somewhere in the background before I move forward

Wish me luck in this.

One of the biggest sources of inspiration for my multi-part Shiki fanfiction (other than Shiki itself) was Lost Girl.

Bo was a succubus, a woman who fed, survived, and thrived on sex. At the same time, she shied from using sex for her own personal gain. She was in many ways a girl scout, the voice of morality in the world of the fae. She was an independent, innocent, and rookie individual in a new culture of customs and tradition. I started seeing a parallel between Bo and Yuuki Natsuno of Shiki in their independence. Both Bo and Natsuno stuck out in their particular communities, often arousing interest and desire, yet never quite fitting in. (I was also watching both series at the same time.) I thought about the reaction Shimizu Megumi had to Natsuno, the way she lurked outside his window, never leaving Natsuno alone or any he got close to. Megumi's behavior reminded of Ryan Lambert and others ‘touched’ by Bo, how they’d be filled with a stalker-like madness. I considered the possibility of Natsuno having such a power lying dormant within him even before he changed into a jinrou. This power would make him more than a jinrou. I was enchanted by the idea of skittish incubus. I knew Natsuno would be wary of his power until he saw a pragmatic purpose for it, a way to use it to help others. The other thing he was skittish about was his own need to help people, the people whom got behind his defenses and got close to him. I found myself discovering this about Natsuno as I wrote More Than a Jinrou…his coldness is an act. His standoffishness is a defense to keep people away so they can’t get close to them. Once they do, his loyalty is frightening. I thought it was interesting that one of the first people to notice this quality was Tatsumi, his enemy.

Intrigued though I was, I’m not sure if I would have noticed the possibilities between Tatsumi and Natsuno if not for Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Spuffy, the pairing of Spike the Vampire with Buffy Summers. I was never much of a Buffy/Spike fan. I wasn’t a Buffy/Angel fan either at first. I’d seen far too many heterosexual relationships on television, often slapped together with overused tropes during the 1990s. Buffy and Angel had to do something different to win my heart, fighting each other to the death with swords, looking spectacular while they did it. They reminded me of Kamui/Fuuma from X 1999, a powerful pairing in its tragic adversity. (Buffy/Angel’s was brought on by a moment of perfect happiness, Kamui/Fuuma was brought on by a wish.) Besides Sarah Michelle Gellar and David Boreanz are amazing actors. It was hard not to get drawn in by their performance for all my burnt-out grumpiness. Once Buffy/Angel hooked me, I felt a measure of loyalty to them. Even though Buffy/Faith was my favorite pairing and I loved the idea of Angel paired with Xander, Doyle, Spike, Wesley, Penn, Lindsey; I respected the bond with Buffy.

James Marsters can be amazing, too. I wasn’t a fan of Spuffy, but it was hard not to be drawn into the evolution of Spike’s character. At first I was grumpy about yet another male and female character being hooked up when incredible chemistry between many a pair of male actors or female actresses was ignored. At the same time I couldn’t forget Buffy and Spike. I’d find myself recalling many of their scenes, admiring the raw honesty in them, even in their dysfuction. Later I’d see an echo of Spuffy in the Battlestar Galactica remake between Leobwin and Kara. I didn’t like that pairing either, yet once again the raw intensity of the characters’s emotions drew me in. I found the scenes where Leobwin kept Kara prisoner in that “dollhouse” on New Caprica, to use Kara’s own words disturbing, yet they kept playing in my mind. I found myself thinking about Tatsumi keeping Natsuno prisoner in such a room, having saved Natsuno from the explosion meant to kill them both. This blossomed into my Shiki fanfic After the Explosion. The way Tatsumi and Natsuno reacted to each other when they first met on Shiki made me think of when Buffy and Spike’s encounter in the high school halls in Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 2: School Hard. If Buffy and Spike could get from that point to the one they ended on in Season 7, it was possible for Tatsumi and Natsuno to undergo an equally revolutionary journey in their relationship. There was a certain measure of respect and chemistry between them as they taunted each other. The final look on Tatsumi’s face in his last scene with Natsuno in the anime gave weight to the idea of going somewhere completely different together emotionally. This idea which became my fanfic. Plus I loved Natsuno too much to let him go. Yes, I respected the tragic finish he’d chosen to go out in, but not enough to let him rest in peace.

Along with After the Explosion, I wrote Reunion which tied in with After the Explosion. Natsuno was still alive and grumpy about it, ready to make those forcing him to live live through hell.

I hadn’t intended to write anything more. Readers kept asking me to write more. I wasn’t sure if there was any more story to tell. This was when I was watching Lost Girl, finding myself comparing Bo to Natsuno in certain ways. I also found myself wondering about Natsuno’s relationship with Ozaki Toshio, a relationship which remained mysterious in the Shiki anime to keep certain elements a surprise. If I continued, I’d have a chance to explore it. I felt that Ozaki Toshio and Muroi Seishin still had unfinished drama between them. I adored the character of Sunako, who’d been the villain, yet less villainous in many ways than Shimizu Megumi or Masao. Her cruelty had a point, a purpose. This might be a chance to show a softer or more complex side to her while she’d get a chance to interact in a more civilized fashion with her former enemies. I adore the idea that Kaori and Kanami are living together, trying to heal each other after the traumatic experiences in Sotoba with former loved ones, seeing the monstrous behavior of both shiki and humans. The way Kaori smiled and Kanami smiled back at her spoke of possibilities too.

A story is truly satisfying when it surprises me in its twists and turns yet heads where it feels like it’s supposed to go. More Than a Jinrou has surprised me often but I feel like it’s heading where it’s supposed to go. Here’s hoping the conclusion it arrives at is just as satisfying.

Warning, here there be spoilers for the TV series Hannibal. You may want to watch it yourself before you read this.

I’ve watched the entire series multiple times. I’ve got a different interpretation than wiki of why Hannibal Lecter smiles at the end of Savoreaux. I agree that Hannibal smiled because he’d won, but the victory wasn’t locking Will Graham in a cage. Hannibal may already be suffering some of the regret that's going to hit him time and time again during the second season over Will’s incarceration. I wondered if he wasn’t feeling it when he watched Will being taken away by the F.B.I. on the front porch of Will’s home in Wolf Trap, Virginia. I wondered if Dr. Lecter didn’t feel a twinge of regret in Relevés when Will left his office, right before he put into motion his plot to have Will accused of murder. When Hannibal wept in therapy with Bedelia Du Maurier, maybe his grief was genuine. We’re left to think he’s weeping over Abigail, only later he’ll show up with a plate of her to share with the person he shared his grief with. Hannibal told Dr. Du Maurier that in trying to save Will, he lost Abigail. In truth, it was the other way around. In trying to save Abigail from arrest and incarceration by faking her death, he sacrificed Will. He’s going to feel the loss of that sacrifice again and again. Why, then, is Hannibal smiling at the end of Savoreaux? What was the real victory?

Perhaps it’s something extremely simple, yet complex, the fulfillment of a desire which was foreshadowed throughout the first season. Hannibal got Will to see him.

Will is looking at Hannibal Lecter in that last moment, truly seeing him without the haze of sickness in his way. His mind clear, Will can still see Hannibal through the stitching of the person suit Bedelia Du Maurier described in Sorbet. Will was clever enough to climb the walls Bedelia noted that Hannibal spent a lot time building in Fromage. No one else can see Hannibal Lecter. He’s fooled everyone but not Will Graham. That knowledge isolates Will from everyone else, sets him apart from everyone who ever tried to get close to him. No one believes Will but Hannibal knows and Will knows that Hannibal knows. This takes the two of them away from everyone else to their own private world where they belong to each other. Never mind that Will is looking at him with such hostility. Their shared secret still makes Hannibal smile. Considering how Will avoided his eyes from their very first meeting in Apertíf, how Will discussed the Chesapeake Ripper's crimes with a faraway gaze, this is a personal victory. Will is looking at the real Hannibal. Will is seeing him with clear eyes. It calls into question whether the phantoms who’ve been haunting Will; Garrett Jacob Hobbs and Georgia Madchen, urging him to see, haven’t somehow been serving Hannibal all along, for all that he orchestrated their end. The first hurdle to any kind of real friendship, which Hannibal has come to realize is not as casual a relationship as he’d once thought, has been overcome. Will Graham has overcome it. Perhaps Will has scored a major victory as well in this, but it’s a victory Hannibal wanted him to win. They’re a step closer to each other and the friendship Hannibal desires.

There it is, my Flight of Fanciful Fandom, but I truly believe there is some real merit, based on the canon of the series itself to support this theory. One of the fascinating things about Hannibal is there are many ways to interpret the events of this show. This is one of them.

I hesitated to watch this series. It touched on matters I find psychologically disturbing, which could really scar me. What I’d heard about Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham’s relationship, though, convinced me this was the sort of darkly homoerotic bond I find fascinating, exactly the sort of ship I become obsessed with.

For months, years, I waffled between curiousity and fear. I was tempted to buy Hannibal on DVD/BluRay, yet I hesitated. Earlier this year, I finally had a chance to start watching it on Amazon Prime. I saw the first episode to see if I could handle it as a friend suggested. When I found I could, I kept watching. Will Graham’s abilities intrigued me, plus his relationship with Hannibal Lecter pulled me in from the beginning. Hannibal seemed to be bent on trying to set Will up, to drive him mad, to drive a wedge between Jack Crawford (the other man who dominated Will’s life and gave Will a destructive, yet powerful focus), yet Hannibal seemed to truly care about him. The slow revelation of what Hannibal is in pieces, the moments referring back to Silence of the Lambs (love how this Dr. Chilton gazed at Will as if he was an exotic animal he’d like to acquire when they met, a little bit of foreshadowing and character development), yet this series developed its own vitality. The actors, writers, and people behind the camera did an extaordinary job. I was intrigued by how Hannibal explored his feelings about Will through his therapist, Dr. Du Maurier, played by the incomparable Gillian Anderson, (I got a x-over fannish giggle every time her character in this dissed the FBI), even while he was setting Will up. All of these qualities made me curious, left me wondering where this series was going.

It wasn’t until the second season I got truly hooked. This was a series that wasn’t afraid to shatter the status quo. It took the protagonist and locked him up. It put him on trial and threatened him with the death penalty. Viewers went deep into Will’s head, facing his doubts, his inner turmoil, his visions, his growing certainty of what Hannibal was, how much Hannibal messed with his mind. Vulnerability, betrayal, and being broken only added to Will’s growing strength. He blossomed amidst his adversity, even while he was locked away, facing his inner and outer demons in his adversity. He became even more beautiful as he descended, finding himself even as he lost himself.

No one noticed these changes more than Hannibal. He became so attuned to Will, he could not let him go, not even to the trap he himself set in motion. Hannibal starts going to crime scenes with Jack Crawford and his team in an effort to walk in Will’s shoes, visit the places Will would have, trying to get closer to Will, to understand him better. The irony is that in setting Will up, Will might slip through his fingers, crushed by the forces of law and order. Hannibal sits facing the chair Will sat in, feeling the full weight of his actions, perhaps for the first time in years. He has his freedom, no one believes what Will says about him, but he may lose someone who’s become precious to him. The question he asks Will, “This is a poem to you. Are you going to reject his love?” seemed to come straight from the heart. It took my breath away, seeing this human monster learning how to love once more, and yet Hannibal remained a monster, and an elegant, polished monster, too. He had the taste and manners I often associate with my favourite vampires. He has his court of admirers ready to devour his carefully prepared meals, prepared with more with care and cunning than they would ever guess. He’s one posh cannibal and he makes his elegant surroundings all the more disturbinng by being so. He appreciates art and music in all its beauty and he appreciates artistry in other serial killers’s work. (The artistry in Hannibal is worthy of an entire blog in itself). For Hannibal appreciates beauty in all of its most disturbing, dangerous aspects. No one is more beautiful than Will Graham, who is able to absorb and interact with these elements.

I was only in the middle of the second season when I wrote this. I wondered where it was going, where it would end.

Now I’ve seen the end, I marvel for this is a horror story, a love story, a tale of suspense and murder, an expression of various aspects of art, and in the end has all the power of an opera. Hannibal is the Phantom of the Opera, Will is his Christine, and everyone caught up in the drama is part of the opera house. Only Will isn’t going to run off with Raoul at the end, for all that he tries to run or walk away.

It’s beautiful. Dark, but, oh, so beautiful.

Every time I read something again, I pick up something new.

Tokyo Babylon remains my favorite manga after over ten years. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve read it, mulled over its scenes, contemplated fanon involving these characters or interpreted canon.

Now I’m seeing a parallel between the woman who punishes her baby and the last story and Hokuto. Or perhaps I should say Subaru’s perception of Hokuto.

Subaru saw his twin dying in his place at the sakurazukamori’s hands, a fate he was resigned to. Perhaps he felt he deserved to be punished to loving a man like Seishirou, only he’s denied that punishment by Hokuto sacrificing herself.

The woman hits her baby because it’s like hitting herself. She failed to retain her husband’s love. She didn’t stop him from running off with another woman. She can’t herself, but she hits the child, whom she considers part of herself.

Subaru failed to win the bet, to change Seishirou. Hokuto died because of that failure, but she also left her twin behind by dying in Subaru’s place. It’s too late to yell at her, to cry at her not to go. He can only make himself suffer, living on as she wished, living on as she never would have wished.

In a way, it’s the ultimate revenge, a punishment as bad as Subaru could ever deliver to his sister for sacrificing herself to Seishirou, for stealing his sacrifice. Only is he really lashing out at Hokuto? Or is he seeing her as part of himself and lashing out at that?

The little girl, however, points out something Subaru had forgotten, something Hokuto herself would have reminded him of, if she were still alive. The baby isn’t his mother. He’s his own person.

Hokuto isn’t, wasn’t Subaru. She made her own choices. She decided to face Seishirou, to sacrifice herself in Subaru’s place. Subaru couldn’t have altered that decision, not in the state he was in. If he could go back in time, change things, maybe he could have. Punishing himself now, though, won’t change Subaru or Hokuto’s choices now. Hokuto and Seishirou won’t come back. All Subaru is doing is hurting himself.

Perhaps he does realize that at the end of the story. Perhaps this is where his dangerous, destructive wish begins, a wish that changed his resolve to kill Seishirou into something else. As painful as it might be to his grandmother or Hokuto, as imcomprehensible as it might be to Seishirou, Subaru starts thinking about what he, Subaru wants. There’s something dignified in the tragedy of this resolution, an assertion of the self, even though it may end in the annihilation of the self.

This is something CLAMP shows again and again in their stories, the value of an individual wish. It also shows how much our wishes can hurt other people.

Subaru is perhaps one of the most tragic characters CLAMP has ever created, because while he’s inclined to be kind to others, he’s also makes destructive choices for himself. Without Seishirou swooping into destroy the perils that menace him, or Hokuto kicking him into look after himself, Subaru isn’t going to bother.

It’s his choice, though, and there’s no one to stop him from making it. Or is there?

Perhaps the tragic events to come in X 1999 was Seishirou stepping in one last time to save Subaru from himself. For all his protestations of not caring, the sakurazukamori did that.

This is one of the reasons this manga stands out so strikingly among others. It gives a reader a lot to think about what truly makes a person happy, and the consequences of our choices. It explores them in a depth I find fascinating.

Perhaps this is why Tokyo Babylon remains my favourite manga.