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You know you’re utterly obsessed with Hannibal the TV series when you visualize a crossover between it and the musical Into the Woods. Or perhaps I should say I know I am.
It started with a cackle. Raúl Esparza’s cackle during the Hannibal Season 3 gag reel amidst the intense scene where Will Graham faces Dr. Chilton after Frederick’s disturbing ‘date’ with the Great Red Dragon, a date which left him burned, lipless, and looking hag-like. Raúl Esparza started cackling like a melodramatic hag in a fairy tale, making both Hugh Dancy and Lawrence Fishburne bust up themselves.
I found myself thinking of Bernadette Peters’s performance as the witch in Into the Woods, how she’d cackled at the baker and his wife when she revealed that she’d cursed the baker, right after her “Greens, greens, and nothing but greens!” rant. All of a sudden I saw Dr. Chilton, still hideously burned, striding into the F.B.I. lab in his double-breased suit, carrying a silver-skull headed cane with a leather leash attached to it. The leash is connected to a spiked collar around the neck of Francis Dolarhyde who looks like a zombie bondage boy. By zombie bondage boy, I mean that the Great Red Dragon is wearing nothing but that collar, a leather thong, and a matching gag. Scars where Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham cut and tore him stand out in livid relief upon his dead-pale skin. He’s doing a zombie shuffle walk, which becomes a zombie shuffle dance when Chilton launches into a long rant of exposition, pantomiming the doctor’s story, mocking it in a submissive fashion. And Chilton does rant, launching into his own rendition of the witch’s story, “Beets, beets, and nothing but beets!” pointing an accusing finger at Jimmy Price. It appears that Jimmy’s mysterious twin stole the beets from Dr. Chilton’s garden. Dr. Chilton responded with a curse, err, analysis which affects Jimmy Price and Brian Zeller as well as Jimmy’s brother. Their parts on Hannibal will always be small ones, although he’s willing to reverse his curse if they do as he asks.
The absurd doesn’t stop there. I imagined Hannibal in all his elegance singing Agony in a duet with Jack Crawford as Hannibal serves up Abel Gideon to an oblivious Jack. They don’t even notice poor Abel is there, even though they’re eating him. They’re too busy singing about Will, what an elusive puzzle he is, how frustrating it can be, trying to guide him. Yes, Will Graham plays the part of two of the heroines from Into the Woods. He’s both Cinderella, able to summon dogs instead of birds, and Rapunzel, kept under lock and key by the witch, i.e. Dr. Chilton. Yes, time has become messed up for why else would a zombie version of the Great Red Dragon be around? To make matters weirder, Will is part of a bizarre family unit in prison involving Abel Gideon and the devoted nurse who was willing to kill for Will as his ‘stepsisters’. Will wants to escape from the asylum, to try to catch the Chesapeake Ripper, to regain Jack Crawford’s trust, only a part of his mind warns him all is not right, reality is not what it should be, and is longing to find Hannibal Lecter for more complicated reasons than that. Dr. Gideon and the nurse are quite starry-eyed over the Chesapeake Ripper (until poor Abel gets eaten), the icon of all serial killers whom see their work as art. They admire or envy Will for the special attention Will has gotten from the Ripper, even if it’s being framed and imprisoned. I pictured Will and Abel singing a weird version of “He’s a very nice prince” together; “But how can you know what you want if you don’t know who you are?”/“If you can’t be who you are, what’s the point in wishing?”
No, this isn’t the end to the strange. I pictured Miriam Lass as Little Red Riding Hood on a mission for Jack Crawford, only her path crosses Hannibal Lecter’s when he’s being a wolf, not a prince. She later warns Will Graham, “Do not put your faith in a badge and a gun/They will not protect you the way that they should.” Maybe that warning should be a duet with Beverly Katz. I also imagined Abigail Hobbs and her father, Garrett Jacob Hobbs taking the place of Jack and his mother. Instead of a cow called Milky-White, they are living with a Grim Reaper called Georgia Mâdchen/George Lass. Yes, a Dead Like Me crossover snuck into this. Their problem isn’t poverty, but the fact that they’re dead and can’t cross over. They’re stuck haunting Will Graham. Garrett Jacob Hobbs is certain this is happening because Abigail insists on maintaining a friendship with a Grim Reaper. Maybe this is partially his fault because he killed all the girls who could have been her friends. They have to do something about this Reaper, get her to leave, to go bother someone else, so father and daughter can move on. Amidst all this, Freddie Lounds acts as the narrator, coming up to the various characters, trying to interview them, only to be chased off by Dr. Alana Bloom and Margo Verger.
This is it, the crazy flight of fanciful fandom my imagination took me on. I’m not sure if I’ll actually turn this into a fanfiction story or not, it seems so whacked. At the same time, it’s fun whack, it’s not all whack, and it’s an idea that’s been stewing for months now. Whether or not to prepare this stew and share it with others would require filling the holes in this story which continue to gape. It’s still cooking in the pot, so to speak.
It started with a cackle. Raúl Esparza’s cackle during the Hannibal Season 3 gag reel amidst the intense scene where Will Graham faces Dr. Chilton after Frederick’s disturbing ‘date’ with the Great Red Dragon, a date which left him burned, lipless, and looking hag-like. Raúl Esparza started cackling like a melodramatic hag in a fairy tale, making both Hugh Dancy and Lawrence Fishburne bust up themselves.
I found myself thinking of Bernadette Peters’s performance as the witch in Into the Woods, how she’d cackled at the baker and his wife when she revealed that she’d cursed the baker, right after her “Greens, greens, and nothing but greens!” rant. All of a sudden I saw Dr. Chilton, still hideously burned, striding into the F.B.I. lab in his double-breased suit, carrying a silver-skull headed cane with a leather leash attached to it. The leash is connected to a spiked collar around the neck of Francis Dolarhyde who looks like a zombie bondage boy. By zombie bondage boy, I mean that the Great Red Dragon is wearing nothing but that collar, a leather thong, and a matching gag. Scars where Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham cut and tore him stand out in livid relief upon his dead-pale skin. He’s doing a zombie shuffle walk, which becomes a zombie shuffle dance when Chilton launches into a long rant of exposition, pantomiming the doctor’s story, mocking it in a submissive fashion. And Chilton does rant, launching into his own rendition of the witch’s story, “Beets, beets, and nothing but beets!” pointing an accusing finger at Jimmy Price. It appears that Jimmy’s mysterious twin stole the beets from Dr. Chilton’s garden. Dr. Chilton responded with a curse, err, analysis which affects Jimmy Price and Brian Zeller as well as Jimmy’s brother. Their parts on Hannibal will always be small ones, although he’s willing to reverse his curse if they do as he asks.
The absurd doesn’t stop there. I imagined Hannibal in all his elegance singing Agony in a duet with Jack Crawford as Hannibal serves up Abel Gideon to an oblivious Jack. They don’t even notice poor Abel is there, even though they’re eating him. They’re too busy singing about Will, what an elusive puzzle he is, how frustrating it can be, trying to guide him. Yes, Will Graham plays the part of two of the heroines from Into the Woods. He’s both Cinderella, able to summon dogs instead of birds, and Rapunzel, kept under lock and key by the witch, i.e. Dr. Chilton. Yes, time has become messed up for why else would a zombie version of the Great Red Dragon be around? To make matters weirder, Will is part of a bizarre family unit in prison involving Abel Gideon and the devoted nurse who was willing to kill for Will as his ‘stepsisters’. Will wants to escape from the asylum, to try to catch the Chesapeake Ripper, to regain Jack Crawford’s trust, only a part of his mind warns him all is not right, reality is not what it should be, and is longing to find Hannibal Lecter for more complicated reasons than that. Dr. Gideon and the nurse are quite starry-eyed over the Chesapeake Ripper (until poor Abel gets eaten), the icon of all serial killers whom see their work as art. They admire or envy Will for the special attention Will has gotten from the Ripper, even if it’s being framed and imprisoned. I pictured Will and Abel singing a weird version of “He’s a very nice prince” together; “But how can you know what you want if you don’t know who you are?”/“If you can’t be who you are, what’s the point in wishing?”
No, this isn’t the end to the strange. I pictured Miriam Lass as Little Red Riding Hood on a mission for Jack Crawford, only her path crosses Hannibal Lecter’s when he’s being a wolf, not a prince. She later warns Will Graham, “Do not put your faith in a badge and a gun/They will not protect you the way that they should.” Maybe that warning should be a duet with Beverly Katz. I also imagined Abigail Hobbs and her father, Garrett Jacob Hobbs taking the place of Jack and his mother. Instead of a cow called Milky-White, they are living with a Grim Reaper called Georgia Mâdchen/George Lass. Yes, a Dead Like Me crossover snuck into this. Their problem isn’t poverty, but the fact that they’re dead and can’t cross over. They’re stuck haunting Will Graham. Garrett Jacob Hobbs is certain this is happening because Abigail insists on maintaining a friendship with a Grim Reaper. Maybe this is partially his fault because he killed all the girls who could have been her friends. They have to do something about this Reaper, get her to leave, to go bother someone else, so father and daughter can move on. Amidst all this, Freddie Lounds acts as the narrator, coming up to the various characters, trying to interview them, only to be chased off by Dr. Alana Bloom and Margo Verger.
This is it, the crazy flight of fanciful fandom my imagination took me on. I’m not sure if I’ll actually turn this into a fanfiction story or not, it seems so whacked. At the same time, it’s fun whack, it’s not all whack, and it’s an idea that’s been stewing for months now. Whether or not to prepare this stew and share it with others would require filling the holes in this story which continue to gape. It’s still cooking in the pot, so to speak.
